The Talk
by JTheGoblinKing
Summary: Little Harry Dresden has... The Talk...


Disclaimer: This is a Dresden Files fan fiction based on The Dresden Files TV series. The Dresden Files TV series is owned by the Sci-Fi Channel… correction, it's now completely owned by Lionsgate (Yay! Lionsgate) until the year 2012 when the rights revert back to Jim Butcher. The Dresden Files TV series is based on the books by Jim Butcher. This is with special thanks to Marc Mullinex who provided me with the final line of this story.

The following is to explain why Harry Dresden has such trouble with relationships.

The Talk…

'Harry,' Morningway said in that creepily gentle tone of his. Dresden, even at the age of twelve was unnerved when his uncle would take that tone with him. There was something eerie about it. Something… Wrong.

Morningway placed a hand on Harry Dresden's back just below the shoulder blades. The dark haired boy resisted the urge to shudder. His uncle had treated him fairly nicely in the year or so that he had lived with him but there was something about him that still left him ill at ease and this gentle tone and gentle touch only increased that sensation that something was very wrong here. Morningway was escorting Harry, lightly pushing him, toward the study room. They were heading toward that room to the East of the house that was reserved for his daily lessons with the ghostly teacher, Hrothbert of Bainbridge, whom Harry had come to affectionately call Bob.

This was not the time for study though. This was night time. It was eight PM in early September in the year 1983. Why was Uncle Justin leading him here now?

'I think it's time you had a little talk…' Morningway said. 'You're on the brink of many changes in your life. You're going to be a man soon and that means you need to learn a few things about life…'

Oh, no! Harry had been dreading this. He had been dreading this since he knew what 'The Talk' was. His uncle planned on teaching him about The Birds and the Beas. Now little Harry knew very, very little about sex at this point in his life. He knew it was the process by which babies came from. He knew it had to do with being naked and in bed but from the movies he had seen it had always looked like elaborate kissing and hugging without clothes on. Perhaps a special way in which you kiss? He knew so very little about it. Either way the only word that came to mind about learning this stuff from someone like Uncle Justin made him go 'Ick.'

Uncle Justin Morningway was a slightly pudgy man who walked with a slight limp and carried a cane. He wore spectacles and his dark hair was balding. There was always a strange sort of calculating in Uncle Justin's eyes. After Harry's father had his 'heart attack' he had been taken in by Uncle Justin whom had helped Dresden to learn how to harness and control his strange abilities. Little Harry had a knack for magick.

He was a wizard…

Now at this tender age of twelve years Dresden had learned how to levitate metal rings, how to protect himself against Thaumaturgy and by default how to use Thaumaturgy. He could read basic alchemic sigils and runes and was starting to learn a few words of Latin and French. He wasn't fluent and he would never pronounce the words with the proper accent but he was learning and his teacher would call him an adept pupil.

Little Harry Dresden knew how to turn a walnut inside out, of all things. But he knew almost nothing about sex and sexuality. And for some reason this impending 'talk' made him nervous.

As they entered the room Harry saw the familiar old skull covered in the sigils and runes that bound the spirit that was inside of it. And it dawned on Harry. Uncle Justin was not going to be the one to give the talk…

Two and a half hours later…

The door to the study room slammed. Morningway was seated in a comfortable looking arm chair reading a newspaper. He lowered the newspaper and looked at the boy.

Justin Morningway did not seem to notice that Harry was paler than usual. His dark eyes were wide as saucers and his mouth hung open for several seconds as he stood against the door. 'So… How'd it go?'

'I am never EVER having sex! EVER!' And with that the boy turned and ran toward the stairs and the safety of his bed room far away from this madness.

A pale ghostly figure passed through the closed door of the study. The ghost was of an older man of about fifty-five-years in appearance though he was really much older. He had white hair and pale aqua eyes. The pale figure wore a dark black suit. The ghost called after Harry.

'Wait! I haven't gotten to the part about the whips and chains yet!'


End file.
